Blog

We're going to talk a little bit about boundaries today, and I am going to be drawing on some questions that people wrote. First, I'm going to just give you some ideas about boundaries, and then I will look at specific questions that people have written in and just kind of think through some of these pieces. One thing I want to say about boundaries, to start out with, is that boundaries have to do with how you're in relationship to other people.

This is a topic that sometimes comes up when groups of moms are together. We joke about our sex life and bemoan the fact that having little children has killed all flickers of desire in us. In fact, one of the listeners who heard that I was going to be addressing this topic on the podcast sent me this meme, and I will admit I laughed out loud when I read it: "You can thank your dad that you were born because chances are pretty good your mom was not in the mood." But all laughing and stereotypes aside, this is a really tender, sensitive topic for many women.

Chastity  The main goals of this lesson are to give Young Women:     a way to value sexuality a sense of the power that sexuality can have in relationships a way to relate to and direct their sexual power/sexuality in adolescence  an understanding of how to navigate pressures with peers and romantic partners while maintaining one's sexual standards and boundaries The following outline could be expanded to two lessons, each section being a lesson. If having two lessons is more than what would be appropriate or allowe...

Sherrae Phelps: In Michael Wilcox's book, “What Seek Ye?” he wrote, "I have discovered after 70 years of life that we all get hard sayings from time to time. Jesus knew in himself that his disciples murmured, and he said unto them, 'Doth this offend you?' Often when our own hard sayings come, we are offended and we answer that question affirmatively. 'Yes, Lord, in truth, I am offended.' There is nothing wrong in answering that question honestly. Above all, God wants our honesty from us. It's okay to be offended at times. It's what we do when we feel that way that matters."  This is Sher...

I think making a commitment to yourself to be as honest as you can with yourself is the kindest and most courageous thing you can do. You're still going to be blind. There are just so many things we often just can't see. They're so cohesive in our mind that we don't see our own liabilities, especially if they were played out in our families of origin; they're so normalized that you don't see them as liabilities. Getting married helps you to see more of what you don't yet see about yourself. What's the feedback I get? What are the things I often am trying to get away from? What is it that my spouse or my child or my friend sees in me that I keep thinking I'm sneaking or getting away from? It's not a perfect process, but it's a very valuable process if you have the courage to think that way and to process information that way.

The following is an article published in the Winter 2014 issue of the Exponent II Magazine: The topic of modesty has been getting a lot of attention in LDS circles recently. Whether provoked by the BYU student who infamously challenged his co-ed for her supposed immodest dress last year or the recent Friend article depicting a young girl prompted by the Spirit not to buy a sleeveless shirt, members of the Church are grappling with questions around the impact and legitimacy of these cultural messages. As a couples’ therapist who works primarily with marital sexuality and desire, I believe...