December 17, 2016 Office Hour Questions

The following questions were raised in the most recent session of Office Hours.  The audio recording of this session is available to those who have purchased courses in the past 12 months, and to those who purchased courses earlier and extended their access to office hours.

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1:15My husband and I have a predictable sexual rhythm. After a positive sexual experience, my desire goes up and his goes down. His interest in me seems to be motivated primarily by biological pressure rather than desire for me. Is this just how men are wired?
8:09The focus of our sexual relationship is my husband's orgasm. We have co-constructed a marriage where his sexual satisfaction is the keystone of our sexual relationship and we now see that this is a problem. How do we change this?
18:48Our young adult daughter seems to be seeking affection from every boy around her. She is determined not to have sex before marriage but she is pushing that line. How can I help her to make better decisions around this?
25:51My wife started taking anti-anxiety medication and it seems to dampen her sexual interest. Do you have any input on how we can address this?
31:36Can you say more about transcendent sex? How does one achieve it? And how common is it for people to cry during sex? This happened with my wife recently. She says they were not tears of sadness, but not necessarily of joy either. We haven't been clear how to make sense of it.
41:30Can you describe what you think a healthy relationship looks like--including times when you are getting along, angry, in the bedroom and out of it?
47:08I just started your art of desire course and i am trying to make sense of a concept you brought up in the second class, and that is the loss of desire that happens between dating and getting married and how it is related to your sense of self. Can you explain this more and also how do you overcome it?
57:02How can I keep progressing towards a healthy marriage when I have so many years of unhealthy behind me? My husband's father is a pedophile, and my husband has told me he looks at porn. I've been told I am judgmental but i sincerely want a better relationship. How do I do this?
1:06:35My husband has been open that he has not been attracted to me physically. I have so many hangups about my body. I am 100 lbs overweight. I can't forget that he doesn't find me attractive, and I don't find myself attractive either. What advice do you give women when both she and her husband are not happy with her appearance?
1:18:30How does breastfeeding play into sexual desire? I have an 8 month old that I nurse multiple times / day. My OB says this is very normal, but do you have any thoughts about how I can address this?
1:20:53How does a sexual addiction change things? It seems no matter what I change around my desire or openness nothing really changes because he is not dealing with his addiction. If only one of us is willing to change, what do I do?