When Is It Virtuous to Submit: Interview with The Christian Doormat

In this interview with The Christian Doormat Blog, I explain what submission looks like as a virtue and what it looks like as a weakness.

"When submission is a virtue, it’s an active choice to yield to something because you think it will create the greater good. It’s not driven by fear; it’s driven by moral courage."  
– Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Podcast audio and transcription of the interview can be found here: https://thechristiandoormat.com/2018/10/05/when-is-it-virtuous-to-submit-interview-with-dr-jennifer-finlayson-fife/

"Rendezvous" Collaboration and Coupon

We all get into ruts sometimes, whether it’s our exercise routines, food choices, or the types of books we read. Routines are normal and comfortable, but they can also make us vulnerable to periods of stagnation and boredom. This is particularly true in marriage. We love the excitement and uncertainty of early love, but once we marry, many of us look to create predictability and routine in our marriages and families that create comfort, but a kind of false safety. If you know what to expect from your day to day experience with your partner, that can give us a sense of security, but also becomes boring and deadening. We stop seeing each other as unique individuals. Date night often becomes the same old dinner and movie, often at the same place, day of the week, and even time of day. You feel “safe” in your relationship, but does it feel alive? Does the relationship you've created challenge and expand you?

A regular date night isn’t the problem, and in fact it’s a great way to connect with your spouse or significant other. The problem is often that couples limit the adventure and novelty when they are together. So what can you do? Do something new with your partner that you've never done before. Try something that is challenging and expands both your experience of yourself and your experience of your spouse. A great way to do this is through a date-box service like Rendezvous. Rendezvous is a dating service, started by a friend of mine, that takes the stress out of trying to find novel, interesting dates. With busy schedules, it’s hard to find time to think of new things to do and organize the details to make it enjoyable. The Salt Lake-based company Rendezvous curates dates specific to your interests, so you’re certain to go on dates that are new and exciting and something both of you will enjoy. Every date is scheduled, prepaid, and designed just for you. The happiest couples report that their marriage expands their sense of themselves. That is to say they discover new parts of themselves in the context of the marriage. (In contrast, the most unhappy couples experience their marriages as restrictive or limiting of their ability to stretch and grow). So the more you stretch your experiences together as a couple, the closer you'll grow and the more passion you'll feel, for life and for one another. So be brave, and put the spark back into your relationship through creative curated dates. Check out Rendezvous at www.RendezvousBox.com to receive your next experience together.

You can use the coupon code: FINLAYSONFIFE for 25% OFF your first date night together.


Ask a Mormon Sex Therapist, Part 24

In this new podcast, I respond to two questions. One question is about navigating intimacy after having learned to orgasm after many years of going without. The second question asks how to respond in a relationship in which the spouse is habitually deceptive.


May 2018 Update: rationalfaiths.com is down, here is another link: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/rationalfaiths/e/55739783

About Progress podcast on Body Image

“If you’re going to be someone who is interested in intimacy, you have to be accepting of your body as it is.  If you’re going to be capable of doing that, you have to forge a kind of meaningful self-acceptance and self-compassion.”

From an interview with Monica at About Progress, posted yesterday.